Managing emotions, all in your hands

Managing emotions, all in your hands

Control emotiblips people tend to perceive themselves as a result and the world that surrounds them as the cause. It follows that all around the blame for what happened or is happening. For example, someone has committed an action that caused the anger. And we say: "He made me angry!". Your child broke a vase and my mother cried out, Why do you constantly disappoint me?

If we apply this to our lives, to turn out, that circumstances govern our lives, us. But it is absolutely not true. Any events that happen to us — it's just a consequence of our reaction to the events.

Our reactions occur in us. In our thoughts, in our emotions. Your reaction belongs to you and you always have the CHOICE of how to respond. Example, husband (or friend, child) do not behave the way you want it. You can be offended to break off relations, not to notice this etc. Options thousand. And all subsequent events will be as a result of YOUR choice (your reaction), but that's not really how the act husband (friend, child). For example, a child crying. Your next steps do not depend on his behavior and your reactions to his actions. You have a huge selection of different reactions, and only you are responsible for your choice.

We bear full responsibility for our emotional reactions. And all subsequent events is a mere consequence of our reactions. Turns out that the life we create for ourselves, with our own hands. You can agree or disagree, the CHOICE is yours....

Stephen Covey in his book "7 habits of Highly effective people" has divided the people according to their qualities and coined the term "reactive" and "proactive". Be proactive — is the first and most important skill of highly effective people. What is that mean?

Consider an example, a person leaves home in the morning in a good mood, his purpose is to live this day for the benefit of themselves, doing all the plans. He left the house. But on the street it began to rain. What should be the normal reaction of a person in the rain? Here lies the difference between reactive and proactive. Proactive people will not respond! He follows her prescribed programme and has a reaction on our own internal decisions. If he was pushed he didn't sign a contract with his mom that got upset? He simply does not allow anyone to "pull" the strings and press the buttons of their mood. The proactive person is the master of his life and of his inner world than deserves respect. Reactive people are the complete opposite – he constantly responds to external circumstances, choosing the first response.

Managing emotions, all in your hands

Well, you really want to learn to control your reactions and become proactive. The question how to do it? You used to react quickly and negatively. How do you rebuild?

To be able to control his emotions and control them, you must know how they come. We all have three Centers. The first is an intellectual centre, it includes: mind, intelligence, thinking, the second is emotional, includes: emotions, mood, heart. And the third physical center, includes: body, instincts, reflexes.

Physical Centre, as intellectual and volitional are directly under human control. We can easily manage your own thoughts. Thinking about the past, then we can easily move in the present or the future. For example, we can remember a funny joke or a song, a favorite movie recently seen. We see that we can control our thoughts. You are free to stand or sit, to smile, to close or to open eyes, straighten your shoulders, breathing in the air to hold it on the exhale. Regarding emotional center – he is not subject to direct volitional control. We cannot instantly change their emotional state.

But the secret management of emotional States is that all emotions are controlled through intellectual and physical center. Emotions are only the result of the situation in which our two other centres. To learn how to control your emotions, you must learn to control your thoughts and muscles of our body. And it's pretty easy! Example, the state of joy arises when we think about joyful things or events. In the state of joy, we smile, our muscles are relaxed. This relationship works both ways. When we have fun — we laugh, and Vice versa when we laugh we have fun!

The first button, which will help you to manage your mood is to focus on bright events of your life. Try to remember what brings you joy today. Remember how happy and joyful moments for the last time. Think about it intently, imagining every detail.

The second button is the position of your body that you take at the moment of joy. Straightened his shoulders, smile, laugh. Start to move quickly and to speak pleasant and cheerful voice. It helps to do it a few minutes, thinking about good things and try to experience all the colors of joy!

The third button is the words that we use. Tell yourself out loud or mentally: "I'm awesome!!!", "Everything goes as it should, and will be even better!", "I'm the happiest person and I always lucky!!!", "My world cares about me!". Such expressions are associated in our subconscious with a particular emotional state. We create our mood through the management of our words, utterances. Remove from your vocabulary all negative, evil, destructive words and emotions and the negativity will be gone from your life.

Conclusion. When you begin to experience a negative reaction on any action, you need to enable "Three button". But to do this, move yourself to the neutral state. Managing your amazement it is enough to focus on your breathing, it should slow down for a few seconds, holding a deep and slow exhale.

Having calmed down, include "Three buttons". Imagine something light, take a relaxed and happy body posture and tell yourself pleasant and gentle words.

By doing this regularly, you will learn how to control your mood and will no longer be a puppet in the hands of others.